So, there are so many reasons why What Would Janice Do? at the El Rey blew really hard last night.
It actually started off pretty promising, the Victoria Gotti/Donatella Versace look-alikes populating the crowd, vampy Bobby Trendy and his self-important crew trying to snag the absolute best seats possible and at this point, I must ask if you’ve ever seen the El Rey, because all the seats are basically the same. There were also a bunch of America’s Next Top Model wannabes running around, probably hoping for a photo-op. I have to say that some of them were appropriately stunning. It’s not that often that a woman can make me seem short and fat, but these chicks did impress.
I should have known when the lame “DJ” (for lack of a better word) started “performing” (putting on CDs and doing the whole “white-girl-upper-body-sway-dance” that I’ve always found so, so charming). OK, now, I’m definitely not a DJ myself, and I’m not a music snob in the least, but if your job could just as easily be done by a mix CD, then I have no use for you. I think it was at this point that my friend, Mike, remarked that he was probably the only black person in the room, except for a woman he saw on the way in.
Then, we saw Kimberly Stewart arrive. Of course, she and her crew were friends with the lame girl DJ. When the few paparazzi that were actually there saw her, they came over to take pictures, which was the cue for her lame hangers-on to start posing all annoying-like, hanging all over each other like the lame-o Kimberly Stewart groupies that they were.
It was at that point that I remarked to Mike that I was pretty sure I was the only woman in her twenties in the room who had a college degree.
It went downhill from there.
Janice Dickinson emerged over half an hour late, a nervous (I’m assuming), coked-up wreck. It was soooo not fun to watch. For whatever reason, they had tried to get Janice to memorize a script and she was freaking out because she kept forgetting the script, which was really frustrating to watch because SHE ACTUALLY LIVED IT AND COULDN’T REMEMBER HOW THE STORY WENT. After the first costume change, which came after about 10 minutes of Janice’s nervous rambling, Kimberly Stewart and her crew RAN out, leaving their lame DJ friend to fend for herself. Ha. I liked that part. After the second costume change, we jetted.
From what I understand Janice later fell.
So, if you’re wondering what Janice would do, please, remember…do as she says, not as she does.
That is all. I’m lowering my ANTM flag to half-mast.
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Yes, it was hard to watch. Your friend was not alone though.
It is scary that the best part of the show was Janice’s gardener (and others) in the videos during Janice’s costume changes.
Janice Dickinson is a self-made celebrwannabe. While she has hung out with interesting people, she is not that interesting. With better writing (and someone who can remember lines to fill in for her), it has potential to be hilarious (e.g. her discussion of giving up on finding the father of her second child after 4 the first 4 DNA tests didn’t find him). Janice is not an actress or singer and shouldn’t try to be one. Models stand and pose. I guess she was good at that in the 70s.
Carolyn the DJ was attrocious. She cut off songs. I thought the show was starting at several points as a song would stop abruptly. Nope. She just wanted to switch to another song and doesn’t know how to fade. I think that she was bored and not paying attention once the show started. It seems from Janice’s comments that Carolyn had lines and that Janice was relying on her to feed her hints when she forgot her own life. The fact that Janice resorted to carrying her script was embarrassing beyond anything else in the evening.
At least the show was only 35 minutes.
I think she is really pathetic and perhaps those more pathetic are those buying her book — which are equally incoherent or paying to see her live. She is a 53 year old has been that is kicking and screaming all the way. She has no talent and most likely cant maintain a friendship. She says she is a member of AA but exhibits addict behaviour. I sort of liked her until I caught an episode of her on The Surreal Life. She is a trainwreck. An incredibly emotionally unstable person who is living in the past — 1970s so way in the past. She needs to get over herself and if you people dont attend her events maybe she will come down to earth and get a job that she can do like work at the makeup counter at a department store.
I wonder who is more pathetic Janice or her fans? There is nothing worse than watching a has been. She was famous — I guess as famous as any model could be in the 70s — four decades ago. She never really worked in New York, but got tons of publicity by sleeping with the city. I would have to be her Gynecologist.
By buying her books or tickets to her show you are enabling her. She is supposedly in AA, but, she is definitely displaying addict behavior.
Her show sucks and she has so much brain damage she cant remember her life unless someone writes it down. The fact that people walked out after 15 minutes of a 35 minute show is quite telling. She needs to get down to reality and act like her age (Close to 60) and get a job that she can do like work at the makeup counter at a department store.
Well Guy’s it’s really easy to criticize someone in the spotlight, particularly when the spot light is not on you.
I have known Janice as a close friend for well over twenty years and yes, she’s a bit of a pain in the ass (currently were not speaking) but she’s lived one hell of a interesting life. Like her or hate her you all need to give Janice her props. She inspired countless models with her raw, exotic beauty on hundreds on magazine covers world wide.
Yes, she’s a trainwreck…But that vulnerability and more than often her inappropriateness shows her humanity. She’s just being herself.
Come on guy’s give Janice a break. Of course…she may have flubbed her lines….of course she’s a trainwreck….but as someone who knows her well, that’s what makes her so much fun.
Almost 60? you bet she is and I bet not one of you will be half as stunning as she is when and if you reach her age.
STUNNING? Oh god! You’re kidding me right?? She’s admittedly been under the knife more times than a turkey at Thanksgiving. She’s approaching Jaclyn Wildenstein in the looks department. And if she’s relying on looks to get people to like her — that’s not going to last.
Also being vulnerable doesn’t translate into being a trainwreck. Everyone I know is flawed — they don’t crave the spotlight or exploit their flaws to get attention. She’s 53 and acts like a 3 year old. That is NOT charming or precious or pretty.
p.s. I have too know the “great” super model that she professes to be —so this isn’t criticism from someone who hasn’t had the displeasure of her company.