The other night, over cupcakes and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck, Dan and I started combing the Internet for ridiculous YouTube clips.

Sadly, we weren’t able to uncover too much online video from the prolific stripper-turned-comic Sandy Kane who has created hours upon hours of glorious footage that features the Newark, New Jersey native singing raunchy versions of popular songs while dressed in a series of bras, thongs, fishnet thigh-highs, a wig of cascading blonde curls and what I affectionately refer to as “Fuck Me Boots.” This footage has aired (and may still air) on public access in Manhattan.

However, this clip of Sandy’s version of “Gloria” is really the best of what I could unearth in terms of performance and even though it is short, the trademark elements of a Sandy Kane episode are included: vulgar and frequent references to male and female genitalia, fake audience applause, Sandy’s raspy voice crooning in a flat and almost earnest tone and of course, the “Breast Comedienne” jumping up and down for the finale, exciting her pasties into circular motion.

Since I have now been introduced to Sandy, I have made it my quest to find more video of this national treasure. I’ve also found myself dying to contact her through MySpace, once I’ve decided what it is I want to say.

[Photo by Bryan Scott via Flickr.]

For now, here is my collection of Sandy Kane videos I’ve found online, which must be shared with the world.

“Gloria”

So I’m guessing these Opie and Anthony people are radio guys, but they seem to have Sandy on their show pretty regularly. Here’s a bit with her “on the stripper pole.”

“Sandy Kane on the Stripper Pole for Opie and Anthony”

I honestly thought that her little bouts of bopping around were just her possibly prepping to actually hoist herself up onto the pole but as it turns out, those weren’t preparatory stretches. It was the actual pole performance. I had such faith in Sandy that I thought she might actually surprise me with a crazy move on the pole that had her swirling around in all of her glory, but alas, Sandy’s not as spry as she used to be, y’all.

Needless to say, you should watch this on mute because these guys aren’t particularly entertaining. Also, you might want to stop the video before she yanks her thong to the side for a clear view of her…well, her ass.

We’ll end this round of Sandy Kane videos with the following:

“Sandy Kane – Rock Around Dolly’s Twat”

I’m not quite sure why Sandy is wearing so many different thongs or how one of them got so woefully askew, but I’m more than happy to watch this nut gleefully performing various dance moves which include scooting from one side of the room to the other and an occasional half-hearted pelvic thrust.

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