It’s only been a few days since the arrival of my Netflix Roku Digital Player and already and I am well on my way to viewing on all the movies I’ve been meaning to see since missing them in the theaters, as well as catching up on old favorites.

Now that I’m working from home full-time again, I’ve come full circle…on a variety of levels. When I first started at SocialiteLife.com, I sat at a table in my kitchen/dining room/office in my studio apartment in Hollywood to write my posts. After a stint working in an office, I have returned to my roots and am back in my apartment, where I blog from 9 to 5, so to speak.

I’m a much happier Office Monkey, since I am happiest when I’m allowed to roam cage-free. And I’m also reminded of my first favorite job ever. It was at the local video store in Richmond Hill, Georgia. Before Blockbuster had infiltrated our little southern town, I spent the the summer before my freshman year of college watching videos behind the register while bartering free movies for free pizza with the kids who worked at the pizzeria two shops over.

That was when I first became obsessed with movies and got into my head that one day, I’d maybe like to have a job that had something to do with the making of them. And now, I’ve recommitted myself to Los Angeles and am remembering what it is I love so much about films, storytelling and…bad independent movies!

There is a special place in my heart for those low-budget flicks from the 90s and early 2000s with high aspirations of gaining notice on the film festival circuit and, of course, teaching us a lesson. Of course, I do love really good independent movies, or mainstream films with independent tendencies but even the best of them are guilty of at least one of these independent film clichés. So let’s dive right in, shall we? Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Elvis Presley: This guy is one of the most consistent indie film staples I can think of. A character obsessed with The King invariably turns up at some point, whether it be a cameo by an impersonator simply passing through, or a major plot point in the form of a journey to Graceland. In a pinch, Frank Sinatra will counts as a serviceable substitute.

2. An in-depth discussion of an iconic movie/television character: An independent film director, especially a bad one also credited as writer of the piece, is always looking for an opportunity to show off his encyclopedic knowledge of film and television history. A conversation between the main characters, often over a poker game or some other such activity around a table most convenient for filming circular POV longshots, gives the director a chance to engage in some witty banter that shows off his or her ability to place big and small screen history within the context of current popular culture.

3. The South: This is a much beloved setting for independent filmmakers, especially those who have never spent any time there. In the world of indie film, the southern United States is a collection of ramshackle shanties and all-night diners and if you’re not a protagonist toiling in a dead-end existence that usually involves you wearing an apron while dreaming of a better life “far, far away,” then you’re probably said protagonist’s abusive/alcoholic father or husband. Other familiar characters include a wise older black woman or man offering sage advice at opportune intervals, a slutty but entertaining waitress or barmaid with large hair and/or a best friend who died in some sort of tragic accident years ago.

4. A bungled heist: The characters plotting a “big job” range in competence from hilariously inept to just plain unlucky. Their attempt to plot the perfect crime usually involves strategic planning, fast talking and enlisting the help of a certain dangerous, older ally. The level of violence escalates, the more competent the criminal. These guys LOVE quoting the Bible for some reason.

Granted, there are probably many more that I’m missing, but I’m pretty confident in my assertion that these gems constitute the backbone of bad indie film. Oh yes, and we love discussing relationships, the meaning of life, quoting Nietzsche and/or allusions to the French New Wave when we are bad indie movie makers.  Keep in mind, though, each one of these clichés once started as a fresh idea. It just takes some serious digging to find out when that actually was.

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