I know other parts of the country might be experiencing slightly hotter temperatures than Los Angeles, but seriously, anything over 100 degrees is murderous, in my book. It’s like comparing death from 75 stab wounds to one resulting from a mere 55.
But the heat wouldn’t be so bad if our city weren’t FRIGGIN’ ON FIRE. And I’m not trying to be metaphorical here, folks. You can see the smoke rising from the hills along the Hollywood freeway.
It didn’t actually dawn on me the other day why my allergies have turned me into a blurry-eyed, Zombie-faced mess until I stepped outside and saw my car covered in a thin layer of ash.
But have no fear, Los Angeles, I’m not bailing on you just yet. Despite that fact that your overly dry sense of humor and fiery temperament have created some disastrous results, I’m not evacuating just yet. At least, not until I absolutely have to.
I’ve seen so many television specials about crazy bridezillas who have spent way too much money on a dress, over-the-top fake nails, spray-tanner, $5 pats of butter, etc. that this wedding video totally made my day.
Her wedding party clearly spent hours preparing this memorable, fun entrance—a priceless gift to the bride and groom that doesn’t have a price tag on it. Consider the cockles of my heart warmed.
It’s very sweet that Katie Holmes performed for So You Think You Can Dance for the Dizzy Feet Foundation, but other than that, I can’t say that I was blown away, as I had been promised would happen. She demonstrated a very textbook-looking and sounding rendition of the Summer Stock number, but nothing that really resonated with me. Sort of like when I sweeten my coffee with Splenda rather than two hearty teaspoons-full of sugar.
And then I took a look at the clip of Judy Garland performing “Get Happy” and I realized what a disservice Katie had done to herself by selecting this particular song. Judy’s casual swagger far outshines Katie’s choreography, during which you can almost see her counting her steps in head. God bless her, how could she have hoped to compete with Judy, who was clearly born with natural rhythm? Her subtle hip movements and dance steps imply that her moves were just an afterthought to that voice of hers, pouring through an always winning smile.
Good for Katie for doing something nice for charity, but all the Pilates and overcompensating back-up dancers in the world can’t compare to Judy. It’s kind of comforting to know that in this day in age of performance-enhancing drugs, quick fixes and ever-increasing technology, it’s still impossible to synthesize good old-fashioned talent.
This is my sad, sad explanation for the woeful lack of posts as of late: I’ve taken an extended coffee break. Regular blogging activities to recommence shortly.
Part of the problem has been that I’ve basically been a gypsy these past few weeks. I was lucky enough to take a ten-day working vacation back home to hang out with the family and when I’m actually doing stuff (offline), it’s really hard to sit down and write about it. Also, since I’m a really light packer, I’ve basically been wearing the same handful of outfits over and over after tossing them occasionally in the wash, but the last thing I need to do is post a bunch of pictures that makes it look like I only own like 5 shirts. Ha!
After my working vacation, I returned on a Friday, only to find my apartment-sitting services were needed by a friend in the throes of a family emergency across the country. It’s such a frustrating feeling to have someone you care about suffering and know there’s absolutely nothing you can do to alleviate it. So you can imagine how relieved I was to have been offered the opportunity to actually DO SOMETHING to feel useful. For a control freak like myself, that kind of task is perfect.
And that’s the story of how I ended up with two feline roommates whom I’ve been feeding and hanging out with while I work on my daily SocialiteLife.com activities. In addition, I have been giving one of the kitties a daily insulin shot after breakfast. As a person allergic to cats and highly squeamish around needles, I’m kind of shocked that things have gone as swimmingly as they have.
The only mishap took place two nights ago when I could have sworn to God that someone had broken into the apartment and was clomping around heavily. This, of course, happened right as I was comfortably drifting off to sleep, wearing my customary earplugs and BreatheRight nasal strip across my nose.
Creeping through the house with my cell phone in hand, I switched on the light to find the cats roughhousing and making sounds loud enough to sound like a large man’s footsteps. That required them each to get a light swat on the ass and it took me a good hour before the adrenaline levels in my bloodstream finally evened out so that my hands weren’t shaking.
In the interim, I’ve also started running again and plan on participating in The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) Team In Training for a half-marathon in January. So if you feel like donating to the cause, click here! I’m being all nerdy and keeping track of my runs on a NikePlus widget in the sidebar of the main page of the blog, so you can keep on eye on my progress if you’re so inclined by checking the site regularly. If you see me slacking, please taunt so that I’ll get off my butt.
Other than that, it’s been relatively uneventful. I’m sure my tomato plant is dead, but I think we all knew that poor thing was doomed the minute it crossed my apartment threshold.
Although I’ve been to the Disney World theme park in Orlando, Florida countless times, I had never had the opportunity to check out the West Coast original. That is until my buddy Ingrid text-messaged me an invite to share her fancy Silver pass with me. Of course, I said yes.
My Disney connection runs pretty deep. My grandmother worked as a seamstress for the company for decades and as a result I’ve never paid for entry to the park I’ve visited dozens of times. My mother was a tour guide in the 70s as a teen, sporting a short plaid skirt, vest and riding hat. She tells a story of how she once brandished her accompanying riding crop a little too emphatically and smacked a man in the face.
So on our trip to the other Happiest Place on Earth, the weather was overcast and rain appeared to be a very real threat. However, we stayed dry the entire trip and eventually, the sun even came out. It was perfect—a little on the chilly side, which is exactly how I like it.
Enjoyed the new Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which had Jack Sparrow integrated into a Disney classic. I also had just heard that It’s a Small World recently had to add more water because Americans are getting so big now, that the boats won’t float. Yikes.
I spend so much time lamenting the fact that I can’t afford to be a homeowner out here in Los Angeles, I forget that there are certain benefits I enjoy as a renter. When my kitchen faucet inexplicably sprang a leak, it was so comforting to be able to just submit a work order request and know that not only was someone else going to fix it, but that I wouldn’t have to pay for it.
Now that I’m working from home, I get to supervise all repairs taking place in my apartment when the repair guys pop on over. And I figured that it was only a matter of time before this perplexing situation would finally push the guys to ask, “What do you do?” I replied, “Well, I work from home, as you can see, writing for a website.”
A moment of contemplation ensued. After that, he asked, “Do you trade? You know, trade stocks online?”
I was so amused by the fact that my answer was clearly not an acceptable one to explain how I’m paying my rent and bills every month without a roommate in sight that I almost told him, “Why yes. I do.”
I was very skeptical that the pool renovations would be done in time for the arrival of the warm summer weather, but as we speak, the newly redone pool in my apartment complex is being filled up with water. Color me impressed. It’s so pretty and blue and clean. I can’t wait start lounging by it, a margarita in one hand and a trashy library book in the other.
Two weekends ago, Betsy and I went on a monster shopping trip to Marshalls, Target, Lowes and Jons that ended with me lugging home a large pot, a bag of potting soil, a tomato plant and two herbs.
This was done in the hopes of turning my brown thumb green. I figured that since the bamboo shoot I’d received as a wedding favor was still alive, I had a good shot at not immediately killing these new green pets.
So far, there’s one sizable tomato swelling on the vine, with two smaller ones following close behind. And then there’s also the chocolate mint and lemon balm, which seems to be doing just as well. Hopefully it won’t be too long before I’m posting about the delicious tomato I’ve harvested.
After wrestling with the instructions and millions of bits and pieces in which my kitchen island from Target arrived, I triumphantly took a long, hard look at the vast acreage of counter space I had acquired. Success!
The purchase was a special treat to myself, for cutting back on my restaurant outings. Also, the free shipping and online discount made it a no-brainer. Especially when I heard the UPS guy lugging the box up the stairs to my apartment front door. “I thought someone was dragging a corpse,” I told him after thanking him and subsequently ripping the box open virtually immediately.
To celebrate, I’m preparing a seafood stew for dinner this evening. It’s one of those grab-bag-type recipes I love so much. In case you’re interested:
Ingredients:
-A handful of frozen shrimp
-1 bag of Trader Joe’s mixed seafood: shrimp, calamari rings and sea scallops
-1 cup of frozen sweet corn
-1/2 cup of white wine
-1 can of Select Harvest Light Maryland-Style Crab Soup
-Handful of chopped red onion
-Handful of chopped cilantro
-Pat of butter
Directions:
Simply toss the whole business into the Crock Pot and let cook for a few hours. You can cook about 1/2 a cup of rice to go with the whole business once the stew is done. Make sure to invite over friends to help enjoy the bounty.
Calorie-counting folk neither allowed nor welcome! Sorry, but this ain’t a fat-free kitchen, y’all.
Why haven’t I been posting lately? Because I’ve been busy constructing elaborate solutions to keep my refrigerator from popping open for no reason. This is actually Refrigerator Solution 3.0. I kid you not.
Also, be kind and ignore the marks left by my grubby hands. Not only was I too lazy to wipe it off before I took the picture, but I was also too lazy to clean it up in Photoshop.
Obsessed with Suze Orman and her money-saving ways, I’ve been watching her show via iTunes podcast after trimming some fat by cutting cable.
And the woman is everywhere at the moment! Thankfully, I keep track of her via Twitter and congratulated the meticulously-coiffed financial guru by alerting her to my favorite picture taken of her at this year’s Gracie Awards posing back-to-back with Kathy Griffin.
Suze and I have chatted briefly in the past, when I first commented on her tweet about being a “hot motorcycle mama.” So I thought she might enjoy a little shout-out. And I was right!
I posted the following tweet @SuzeOrmanShow and was surprised to get an enthusiastic response from the Suz!
Yay! Needless to say, this made my day. Now, if I could only get her to stop by and give me birthday wishes with Kath.
I’ve been told in the past by a few people that I remind them of Kate Winslet. Of course, I take this as an enormous compliment, since I think she’s one of my favorite actresses, as well as one of the most natural-looking ones.
But I couldn’t quite put my finger on where the resemblance stemmed, because our features are quite different. Let’s be real here, God clearly provided me with superior auditory and olfactory receptors.
Then, I realized what it was. We both seem to share the same strange smile.
It’s a unique combination of facial expressions that makes us appear happy, while simultaneously somewhat disgusted. Which makes total sense, since that’s usually how I feel at any given point in time.
I’ve boarded the Lady GaGa train and am totally enjoying the ride! I’m not one to post music videos, since it’s so infrequent that I come across one that really seems worth talking about.
GaGa’s opus “Paparazzi” is one of those rarities I was talking about. First of all, let’s discuss how she even stylizes her untimely death in the video with a wardrobe change. Who knew you could accessorize blood so elegantly?
Then there’s the Dr. Strangelove-inspired wheelchair she’s rocking—in fact all the outfits are pretty amazing, especially the gold-plated crutches ensemble. Being disabled is the new black, y’all. Check it.
To represent all the military graveyards my parents took me and my sisters to all over Europe when we were growing up, I baked a delicious batch of chocolate frosted cupcakes and decorated them with little white chocolate crosses. Nostalgic, appropriate and yummy, they were a huge hit at the bbq.
Here’s the recipe—it’s definitely a keeper. To save time, I just used my trusty Duncan Hines whipped chocolate frosting.
I know other parts of the country might be experiencing slightly hotter temperatures than Los Angeles, but seriously, anything over 100 degrees is murderous, in my book. It’s like comparing death from 75 stab wounds to one resulting from a mere 55.
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