Guess why this bozo’s all beat up? Check it.

So, if you go to Yahoo! News Photos, you’ll see this picture of Jay-Z under “Hurricanes and Tropical Storms.”

Reuters – Thu Sep 8, 4:29 AM ET
Rap mogul Jay-Z is standing behind Kanye West, who went off-script to declare that ‘George Bush doesn’t care about black people’ during his appearance in last Friday’s NBC telethon for Hurricane Katrina victims. In this file picture, Jay Z gestures to photographers during arrivals for the MTV Video Music Awards in Miami August 28, 2005. (Mario Anzuoni/Reuters)

I enjoy the fact that not only is this not a picture of a Hurricane or a Tropical Storm, it’s a picture of Jay-Z from the MTV Video Music Awards and NOT Kanye West. When I saved the picture onto my desktop, it even had “Jay-Z Outburst” in the file name.

I almost wish they had put this picture:

At least it’s kind of tropical.

I was actually thinking about picking up smoking, until I saw this.

Is that Chris O’Donnel? I’m so confused.

Also, I didn’t know Grace Slick was looking this old these days. Wow.

White rabbit indeed.

So, I haven’t been to Star Jones’ site in a little while, and decided it was time to browse. I was scrolling down through the FAQ and thought this was a very pertinent piece of Star Jones information worth sharing:

Questions about Hair, Makeup and Wardrobe

WHY DOES STAR CHANGE HER HAIR SO OFTEN?
I treat my hair like an accessory. I change it like I would my earrings, shoes or handbags…it depends on my mood. When I first started at The View, I wore wigs almost everyday. I even have my own wig line, “The Star Jones Collection” by Especially Yours. Just click on “Shopping with Star” to find out about the wig line.

Oh Star. You’re such a fashion plate.

Hmm…you be the judge.

36-year old white athletic male seeks white couple

WILD ORCHID
This probably the sluttiest JC Penny ad I’ve ever seen.

And sadly, this is probably one of Fergie’s best looks she’s ever rocked. Frankly, I’m just glad all her lady and man parts are concealed from impressionable young eyes–namely mine.

Is it just me, or is Miss Piggy sporting the more sophisticated ‘do?

I only hope that the title of this cd is referring to the fact that Barry Gibb is groping Babs under that black shroud she’s wearing.

And if so, my guilty pleasure is that I wish this to be true, because it is clearly making her incredibly uncomfortable.

I just really enjoy that what they’re selling here is a kimono.

Check it, bitches.

I know, I know, it’s not much, but here are my pix from Destiny’s Chilren. Many thanks to Mike W.!

So, the Destiny’s Child concert at the Staples center on Friday was awesome–probably because of 3 things…

1) I was pretty drunk by the time DC got on stage.
2) It was my first big, diva-style concert.
3) It’s Destiny’s Child, people.

Amerie got on first, looking quite fab in her little gold shorts (causing me to lament my decision NOT to dress in gold lame, which was initially my first choice for wardrobe). Her dancers rocked the house too. Basically, her performance can be summed up in one word, “Legs.” Ridiculous and of course, fabulous. Kudos, chica. Keep up the good work.

Then, Mario came on, but I wouldn’t really know for sure, since I didn’t actually see him because Mike, Ruben, Karen and I were busy at the bar getting drunk to ensure that we would be at maximum “acting-the-fool” capacity once Destiny’s Chilren hit the stage.

On a side note, I do believe I saw John Frusciante from The Red Hot Chili Peppers with what I believe looked like his girlfriend at the merch counter, looking to buy a t-shirt or some such memento. It looked pretty cute, I must say.

So, the ladies rocked the house, as far as I was concerned. It was impossible to take my eyes off Beyonce during the entire show. I was very happy to say that Michelle finished the concert without so much as stumbling. For her solo, she was standing atop a giant rise of stairs, that opened up in front of her. Just as she was about to descend, I had to say it (cause we were all thinking it):

“Girl, please don’t fall!”

To which the two ladies in front of me and Mike, turned around and said, “I know, right?!?!”

Another thing that I must mention is, “We rockin’ stilettos, ho!”

If you don’t know what I mean, go to this.

Doesn’t Jennifer Love Hewitt seem like a perfectly nice, attractive, inoffensive girl, who just quite isn’t good at anything?

OK, so my Janice thing is on Page Six today. Check it, yo.

FORGETFUL JANICE

September 2, 2005 — LARGE-mouth model Janice Dickinson drew the likes of Kimberly Stewart and Bobby Trendy to the debut of her one-woman show in L.A. the other night. The “Office Monkey” blogger caught “What Would Janice Do?” at the El Rey Theater and reports it started half an hour late. Dickinson was “a nervous, [bleep]ed-up wreck,” Office Monkey writes. “It was soooo not fun to watch . . . She was freaking out because she kept forgetting the script, which was really frustrating to watch because she actually lived it and couldn’t remember how the story went.” Stewart ran out after 10 minutes, and others followed suit soon after.

So, in my Internet travels, I happened to stumble across this gem of a picture. Apparently, it’s the cover of a book called “Talkin’ Texan” and from my research, I’ve gathered that this is the “sexy-80′s-denim-clad-vixen” cover, as opposed to the “playing-off-the-stupid-homespun-stereotype-of-Southerners-as-hokey-numbskulls” version, which can be found at here Amazon.com, IF you’re interested.

But please, please, don’t confuse these with “Slow-talkin’ Texan,” with my future husband pictured on the cover.

I’m just confused…if this is a romance novel, and the cover represents a woman’s fantasy–why does a golden retriever have to be involved? I mean, the last thing I want to to deal with when my slow-talkin’ stud of a man-muffin is laboring to string a few coherent words together for some pillow-talk is his stupid dog potentially peeing on my carpet, or God forbid, trying to distract my big, dumb Texan from the matter at hand. Frankly, I’d be much more turned on to find out this guy can fix my car, wants to do my taxes for me (including keeping track of my receipts all year long) and/or is willing do my filing here at work.

Also, how much do you love that yellow squiggle in the top left-hand corner that can only represent one thing. What? That’s right, desire, bitches. Hot, yellow, squiggly desire.