Costumes

Halloween Losers

On November 1, 2009, In Celebrity, Fashion, Food, Friends, Holidays, Humor, Television, By LisaT

This year’s Halloween was a good one. A print-out from the computer and a few stitches later, I had changed some black t-shirts of Keegan’s into our costume of Team Black from The Biggest Loser. It was a definite boost to the ego to walk through Toluca Lake and have people chuckle and tell us how great we looked and to keep up the good work. If you’re feeling down on your body image, I can tell you from firsthand experience that pretending you’ve lost 200 lbs. is a simple and effective way to feel like a million bucks.

We enjoyed a truly unique Hollywood experience when we visited Steve Carell‘s home along with a slew of other trick-or-treaters. Waiting in line along with a bunch of tiny Snow Whites and Spider-Men, we introduced ourselves as big fans of The Office and I joked that we really couldn’t accept any candy.

After all the progress we’ve made, the last thing we wanted was to face the wrath of Jillian at next week’s weigh-in.

t Halloween Losers

Tagged with: Costumes • Halloween • Holidays • Reality TV • The Biggest Loser • Weight • Working Out

Sexy, No?

On November 6, 2006, In Celebrity, Humor, Weird, By LisaT

So, I recently got a friend request from one Ms. Tila Tequila, but I don’t know if I’m interested in adding her, mostly cause I have a policy of not adding anyone I don’t actually know. But, when I clicked on her request to see who it was, I noticed this chick in her top 8.

I love this picture so much. It’s moderately bad enough to almost actually be good, except that it’s like this sexy cat who looks like she lives on a farm. If it were a porn, the gist might be that she’s a horny pussy who happens to live on a dairy farm and whose sexual frustration is amplified by the fact that she’s surrounded by nothing but Moo Cows who just sit and complain about how sore their teats are from all the milking.

At night, she sneaks out and has wild, passionate sex with a guy in a Wolverine costume, only she meant for him to get a more convincing-looking one, but this is the only one the prop master had the budget for and it actually ends up being very effective since both of their costumes are made out of such flimsy plastic that they pretty much dissolve once they start dry-humping each other.

Additionally, I’d like to point out that I originally thought she was using a cane to prop herself up into that pelvis-jutting-out-to-the-side stance she has going on there, until I realized it was actually nunchucks.

Tagged with: Catwoman • Costumes • Tila Tequila • Wolverine

Celebrity Halloween Costumes

On October 10, 2006, In Beauty, Celebrity, Fashion, Holidays, Humor, Weird, By LisaT

I love Halloween, even though most of the holiday seems to exist solely as an excuse for undercover (and flat-out) hoochies to parade around in ridiculous get-ups (think “sexy” insert profession) even when all these fools know no matter where you live, it is too cold to for a bitch to be out and about half-nekkid!

That said, I’d like to take a trip down memory lane with some of my favorite celebrity hoochies on Halloween.

Now, I’m going to start at the very beginning—with my beloved Mariah Carey—of course, for whom Halloween isn’t much different from any other day of the year. Frankly, I’ve seen her wearing much less, in a much colder and inappropriate climate. I do especially enjoy the painted-on abs and wonder if they’re part of the costume, or leftover from midriff-less outfit preparation from the night before. The great thing about Mariah she dresses like this on a daily basis. I imagine she’s shown up at the gynecologist’s office in Vegas-style showgirl costume and jammed those lucite heels into the stirrups without batting an eyelash. That’s the kind of dedication this ho has to image.

Her smile is great too—displaying a sort of disbelief at how ridiculous/insane she still gets to walk around being, while still consistently being invited to high-profile red carpet events.

Moving on to a woman who isn’t afraid to rock the camel toe without sans ironic intentions, Coco, with her man, Ice-T.

This is how I prefer to imagine the night’s preparations played out:

COCO: OK, I’m ready to go out. But Ice, baby, you look so silly in that orange jumpsuit!

ICE-T: What are you talking about, ho? It’s Halloween.

COCO: Oh snap! I totally forgot! (Looks at outfit.) Do you think I should change into something sexier? I mean, I’ve got a crotchless version of these hot pants I was saving for Easter Sunday, but honestly, I don’t know if I can wait that long! My cooch is ready to party NOW!

Now here we have one Ms. Paris Hilton, and you can tell by the picture that this is a Halloween costume because she’s actually wearing underwear–which leads me to believe that she probably thinks this costume title is “Amish Girl.”

Honestly, I think that if Paris Hilton ever showed up to a public event dressed appropriately I would probably be very concerned that she had been killed, skinned and her body was being worn by a terrorist completely unfamiliar with American pop-culture.

This is all I have for now, but expect more cattiness as the season approaches…